Friday, September 26, 2008

MIA...

Yes...I've added getting my Masters in Computer Science to my plate. Now granted, I'm only taking one class a semester (which will equate to 5 years to achieve this goal) but I wanted to finally start going on it. Unfortunately, 15 hours of school and homework doesn't not allow for much else.

However, I had to post this morning...so it happened. The first "I don't love you mommy"...why...because he was being punished for his bad choices. I stayed firm...I did not give in. But I did cry myself to sleep, because my thought was "what if he died and that was the last thing he said to me". I know that sounds horrible...not worried about him dying but how I would feel. But this goes back to the best moment was to hear him tell me he loved me...to lose that, is just too much.

Luckily, I woke up this morning to my little boy climbing into my bed and telling me he loves me. Whew...I made it through but I hate that my mind goes there. I hate the fear. I hate knowing true reality of life.

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