Monday, December 3, 2007

Uncle Mike

My Uncle Mike passed away as a result of a car accident. He was only 58. He had two children and 3 grandsons. He wasn't really my uncle but when your a child and a man brings you a real Christmas tree every year, well he is basically on the level with Santa.

I had not seen him in 10 years. Yet I can still close my eyes and see him. See this jolly full of life man walk into a room and just have such a presence about him. He was a big man yet he never scared me, instead he gave these incrediable bear hugs and laugh.

This was only the second memorial I've gone to since Connor died. The first one was for a friend's mom. I think of her as the first woman that has now held both of my sons. I find that I cry hysterically at these services now. I was always tearful but the emotions are so deep. Not to mention the guilt, because if I'm honest some of me is thankful. Thankful that this man, Uncle Mike is now with Connor. Giving him bear hugs and making his Christmas special.

Last night as the kids were eating, I thought more about Uncle Mike and Connor and where they are. I still don't know how I feel but I definitely believe that people find each other...it's the only thing that does give me comfort. And before I could think more, I hear the words...

Mommy, there's a pea up my nose!
And as I have him blow his nose and a pea comes shooting out, I start laughing. Somehow I feel like Uncle Mike is there laughing with me.

Thank you Uncle Mike. I love you and I'll see you sometime in the future.