Friday, July 27, 2007

It worked!!!!

It became quite obvious this was a game to him and was testing his limits. "Close door mama"...mama closes door, screaming begins. Repeat fifty times. I finally started not even making eye contact.

Last night...he went to bed with no fight at all. You could tell he was sleepy. It was catching up with him but I didn't believe it would be with no fight at all. I probably shouldn't be making any declaration right now as that will just mean that it will be horrible tonight but I slept last night and even went to bed by 8:30 myself!!!!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Please sleep...

So I have to start off with fully admitting that in general, I've had this aspect of parenting extremely easy. Sean slept from about 7 to 7 starting about 6 months old (Keira is already doing the same). At 2.5, we moved him into a big boy bed. We only did this because Keira needed his crib. He climbed everything except for his crib. He would just lay down and go to sleep. I swear, we transitioned him to the bed with zero problems. We were putting him down more around 8 but no getting up or crying at all.

Then we went on vacation. We had to sleep with him. So this had put an idea into his head and now our lovely no hassle bedtimes have become a little more difficult. This has been going on for about a week. The first few days it was screaming matches but now it's just a "keep getting up and seeing if they put me back to bed". Now I realize that this is part of a toddler testing his limits. That in itself is not the problem. So what is the problem...

I take the parenting approach of "no backing down". I will reason. I will remind him of something that will not occur, if he continues (ok, threaten...so sue me). This is not the hard part. The hard part is feeling like I'm not taking every advantage of loving/kissing/hugging my child. I know this is completely unreasonable. I know that being a parent is also loving my child. Yet, the guilt doesn't stop. I remember so often saying "don't take your baby for granted" and despite knowing that parenting is not taking them for granted, it's not what comes to my mind. My child needs me and I'm not giving him what he wants. I know what he wants is bad but so what...I just want to make him happy. I want to give him everything I can't give Connor.

I stick to my guns and he ends up saying something cute and then goes to sleep but I'm left feeling like I just want to cuddle him. I just want him to tell me that I'm doing the right thing so he doesn't blame me. I guess that's really the gist. I get nervous that if I do something wrong with Sean, he'll be able to tell me one day. Which then goes to my hidden underlying fear, it will mean that I did something wrong with Connor, but he just can't tell me. That I didn't parent Connor correctly and I can't mess up the chance with Sean and Keira!

Talk about pressure...which leaves me just pleading that Sean will go to sleep without incident so that these thoughts don't overwhelm me at the end of a long day.